Reflections on life

December night crescent moon hangs from Orions belt

Sometimes I sit and watch the rain make patterns on the window twisting   turning      running My days of raindrops spiralling around the corners of my mind the lessons learnt in a water drop Sometimes I try to hard to analyse and scrutinize and make the pattern fit the mold Sometimes it is easier to go with the flow and sit and watch the raindrops.

walking in the dark still trying to find my way ripples in the pond

dessert sands blowing winds of change revolution

Kim Jong-il passes tears flow in North Korea for sorrow or joy

freeze frame on a frozen day fading light steals the vision robbing me of images street lights come to life bathing the street in romance couples walk hand in hand shivering between bars dressed for summer on a winters night the price of fashion the price of pride

walking these cold lonely streets I look into your window every one there seems like they're having fun so I walk on in silence alone and search for the remedy snow starts to fall as I walk on alone contemplating every thought seems to run round and round and I cannot make  sense of them as I think in rhyme and look for the remedy under the street lights the fresh fallen snow has turned orange my mood has taken a mellowing hue and my thoughts turn in colour as I walk home I now have the remedy

like weeds on the lawn disappointments rise  I search for flowers

another coffee to complete a pointless day at least I suppose I can retire for the night in the knowledge it was fairtrade

staring out at me smiles on a glossy photo only you know how real the image is portrayal of a moment

an empty vase summer flowers now gone outside holding on to life the last September rose

how good it would be to live my life in one day in that way the tears and the pain would be gone in a short time

silently a prayer fell from her lips lips red like the wine they shared her world now a stain that grows with each whispered lie hoping believing yet always in her heart the knowledge a betrayal a Judas yet beneath her skin she still shines in dazzling self delusion another lie is born I love you she whispers and sips her wine

the music took him back he saw himself and cried inside the life the love the notes struck a chord deep within a time beyond cares a memory jabbing a desire to be there and do things differently

to plumb the depths of tormented mind we seek to find the reasons why. in darkened tombs the vile repository of hidden vice lies dormant in the winter of fervent prayer. we shake the petals from the flowers of wrath in righteous anger at the shadowy thoughts that creep unheard through the recesses of our tortured minds. and sit and ponder the meaning the meaning of deceptive empty words.

I call out to you in the quiet of night between heartbeats and breathes my mind runs wild in circles without end an endless loop no-one sees what I see feels what I feel from hope to hopeless in less words than this. I have seen the world in the palm of your hand and yet we fall and drown in the putrid stench of worldliness suffocating in the void longing for freedom and liberty running the gauntlet of superficiality never saying what we mean. the wasted chances that pass by we watch them wave to us as we wish beyond wish that we'd taken them never again we say yet the circle completes itself one last time.

Traffic crawling at the speed of an aging malt the odour of exhaust fumes and hops mingle in the frosty air. down Palmerston Place the early morning sun casts elongated shadows. Scaffolding raised high against St Marys cathedral restoring stonework high above the shadows the closest these men will get to heaven. Strengthening the walls but the foundation is crumbling no mason can save her fall. Walking onward I observe the daily commute. I am no part of it an outsider viewing their world as God views mine. They move in haste the business suit,student,shop-worker and another outsider a homeless beggar with a paper cup held out like a prayer to God upturned palms,downcast eyes hopefull and yet hopeless genuine or fraud it matters not the crowd have seen it before every day untill invisibility wrapped itself around the down-trodden hiding him from view. Onward they go boarding the bus minds full of important things like which tune to pl...

if i count the days my heart will fail to keep the pace with sorrows smile whilst all the while we embrace in citrus memories too bitter to repair and yet we favour the sweet nostalgia that seeps through the gaps in our broken hearts.

we bought the world with tears and pain and left footprints dissolving in the aftermath while we danced and sang those final notes the dirge of farewell.

Tears fall on empty paper no words to smudge no ink to run. In her mind she writes the words safe and secure, no fear of discovery no fear of betrayal. Alone she counts the words a tear for every syllable untill the well runs dry and her words she borrows from dusty poetry books.

Surrounded by noise he shuts down his senses retreats into silence

the world within waiting for a miracle a release from this private hell praying for an open door

running scared afraid to take the next step failure is waiting a peripheral shadow a voice never silent

Leaves fall to the earth I see life behind me dreams changing hue

as shadows we traverse time and space shrinking our transitory footsteps left for others to find

Dreams of summer fading as the year lengthens the scent of autumn

I saw your face as I slept beneath the moon glowing you smiled with sparkling eyes then faded into the void

Within the dream  my world  so perfect  revolves around time that is gone

in the kitchen the washing machine ends its cycle outside the sky turns grey over this urban prison

sand grains fall counting the heartbeats of time echoes of forever silence fills the empty wait between pulses in time

ripening cherries waiting for sun and rain your scent in the air

Blossoming love beside the peonies her cheeks blush

a time of quiet I try to reach the place deep inside where the young man I once was still lives carefree untroubled

something strange your footsteps in the night carry questions that my heart can answer but that my mind will not

cast adrift on lifes stormy seas my anchor the hope sustaining me the faith that binds me

A short breath of icy air passed between us brushing your cheek freezing a tear

A vision of the night in shallow shade a glimpse into something forbidden yet desired

the winding path leads me away one last glance as the final blossoms fall at my feet

empty silence in the vast expanse stilling the heart I notice the blue of the sky the song of the skylark

the heart of the wise meditates on many things a river slow,sure its course over many rocks caressing life with a kiss

an overturned cup contents carelessly spilled I am reminded of those moments in my life when promises proved empty

words that we speak should remain in silence if they add nothing to our hopes and dreams the quiet is sufficient

our conversation words we throw at each other scoring points as I listen to my heart I hope you listen to yours

speaking senseless words an injured heart speaks rashly I watch the snow fall drifting peacefully downward its gentle silence soothes me

stupidity in the heart of each of us causing ruin angry words and clenched fists directed beyond the clouds

old friends gather to tell old stories each time the story breathes new life I find a new moral to embrace

this community holds strongly entrenched ways today little has changed for 100 yrs men still get drunk and fight

an overturned cup contents carelessly spilled I am  reminded of that moment in my life when promises proved empty

old men sit on benches in the street reminiscing about long hours spent digging in the earth dying for coal

the shouts of drunken youths echo off house walls tired wet colliery village trapped in an endless loop

chanting alone the old monk rings the bell breathing the thin air he meditates on the sound     of the wind taking his last breath

Decembers freezing breath               has frozen you in time                           last summer rose

The hour is late I can hear your fading heartbeat getting weaker slowly your breath moves back and forth whispering my name. Ancient chants can serve no use your gods lacked power to deliver to aid empty vessels you lie abandoned in the dust of death awaiting that final moment when the clock will stop and tribulation will flood over all that you were all that you did the hour is late your breathing now weaker weaker

Tired earth muted hues beneath birds wings your cries go unheeded betrayed by those who rape your land your life blood congealed by  the poisons you are fed your vital force gathers itself a terrestrial revolution seeking vengeance on traiterous stewards A retribution without trial your anger boils over you shake your skin and cities crumble you weep in grief and flood the land your breath shatters mountains rest from anger for shortly peace will return to you A restoration from the spirit that caused your birth at the dawn of time. You will endure a fortress of beauty alive and breathing.

bagpipe music plays, red wine mocks the dreams I have, under this cloud I feel the celtic spirit

outside the hospital patients stand smoking one for a bypass

In the sky         cloud horses gallop                                 racing                                         stallions                                                  on the fields                                                                 below

by the river you stand alone weeping your branches almost touching the water the only willow for miles

if we talk in muted tones perhaps your rejection will not send me reeling if we listen to real words not our own interpetation we may halt the barrage of spite if we feel with our soul we will not be blinded to the truth of love

Jogging home he stops off at McDonalds

A tiny trickle when I needed a flood sometimes the heart refuses to allow emotions to pour forth a torrent

In the name of the Father the Son and the Holy Ghost weapons and troops were blessed and off they went to shoot and kill imagining that God smiled at their slaughter "God is with us",they said, on both sides, and God weighed the odds. The battle raged and holy guns fired holy bullets that made holy holes in men. the blood that ran was not righteous blood but that of sinners no redemption in their sacrifice the broken bodies and broken minds returned forgotten heroes to many. some thanked God for their deliverance, on both sides, God himself was neutral As knees touched stone prayers ascended like rockets a late comer banged the church door some men dived for cover.

In the woods birds singing praises from a cathedral of trees

a book of verse the wine glass ring on the cover evidence of contentment

first buds of Spring inching forth through frozen ground victory of life amidst my adversities you hold out to me hope

had we not met and our hearts had not entwined in what state of life would we  find ourselves desires fulfilled or destinies crushed

your smile I feel it in my heart growing bringing to life my inner man

Outside the rain beating against the window washing away the tear stains at your door

on the edge of life she clings to the forlorn hope that the sun will shine and banish these rain clouds evaporating her fears

Stillness of the pond disturbed by a pebble small disturbances causing ripples in our lives.

Patchwork of light and shadow arched cloisters where many feet have trodden a sacred path.

The tide drifts lazily in lapping over stones,pebbles smoothed over countless ages We stand and watch in awe of the scene a sublime serenity mountains reflected in perfect symmetry clear waters wavelets caress the ear a birds wings swish the air a fish breaks the surface sending out ripples wishing I never had to leave

Amethyst, jasper, ruby stones in your name and your names in stone you brought the rain to this parched land gave life to this desert yet in an instant you were quickly gone and this land withered you flooded my soul with soft words flood waters of deceit washed  away my soul drowned me with your final words

Gentle flowing water lapping against the banks soothing my tired soul from somewhere a leaf floats to the ground

the days continue we move onwards our necks stiff and painful from always looking back

this evening as the fire glows radiating its warmth I catch your eye the embers smoulder

In the town streets shiny with rain I walk across the bridge no accordian player today no guitars , violins there's nothing extra for playing whilst wet cobbled streets slippery,wet waiting to turn someones ankle as they are distracted by the man selling "The Big Issue" I wonder if he knows what the big issue really is smells waft out and tempt  me burgers , hot dogs , coffee others assault me cigarette smoke , cheap perfume and body odour I walk on evading spiky umbrellas held as if in a military manoeuvre people short , tall , fat , thin an urban culture a melting pot we stir our own small space and walk on along shiny streets in the town

Beneath this cold earth my home awaits betrayed by lifes promises denials in a world of fools this life , mine full of pain no peace insensibilities and distain without escape my screaming soul feels the surge of blood accentuating the misery desperate for rest instead , before me a dark tunnel no light at its end a downward spiral ending in despair this death inside everyday renewed emotions drained squeezed from a bleeding heart and then the light and then the end and then silence

The docks,cold in the northern wind. I look out to sea,a lone fishing boat returns to the quay. Surrounded by a flock of squabbling gulls like excited children waiting for a party. They swoop and soar dive and dart like victorious warriors after spoil. A feast for free. So many copy their style in a world of "I want" and "I deserve". Taking the plunder,wolf-like,ravenous. What is left,what remains is injustice and despair.A desperation that binds itself to the culture,inseparable untill the fabric b r e a k s and the last remnant of hope leaves on  the final tide.

He throws a pebble into the pond his life disturbed by small things

pink sky at evening I hope the shepherds bring the delight they always promise

From the river,the wooded slopes rise steeply to the foot of the old city walls. Patches of early snowdrops spring up at the foot of still dormant trees.High above them, from sandstone towers,the cathedral bells sound on the hour as they have done for centuries.Along the river a cormorant flies upstream. cathedral bells an ancient tone snowdrops bow their heads

early morning driving in the dark last nights memories viewed through the windscreen

nest building sparrows winter survivors

walking in the park the full moon rests on a branch

after the funeral I walk by the sea eroded coastline reminds me things take time

a man of comfort yet his words ignite a fire bringing fear and dread angry fists shake at heaven when he preaches them to hell

She struggles with shopping crying children cling to her inside her head she screams her life spiralling down a purgatory she chose

our paths have crossed in a time before we knew that we would walk one way with one goal nothing can be assumed

sitting alone he works out his plans beside the glowing coals a melody becomes one step closer

"Life is precious" cried the anti-abortionist as she shot the doctor.

In the vegetarian restaurant he took his card out to pay from a leather wallet

Finally reunited- the lost child receives a spanking

The used battery kept in a drawer  just in case.

at journeys end hoping to look back with contentment

marching along the fence gaurdian of the garden a magpie

alone in the street the lost child in a forest of giants

page after page this notebook of poems grows into Spring from old words grow new poems fresh and green

As the tears fall and the pain stabs as the memories haunt and emotions well up remember me in fields of flowers where hearts ran free in summers sun remember me by gentle waters skimming stones and having fun the night will bring its own dark phantoms but sunrise always follows light remember me as the sun is rising remember me bathe in my light

an empty forest the moonlight paints leaves silver

Empty trees paying tribute to forgotten summer

strugling inside ebb and flow of emotions leaving me empty   swimming against the tide      good intentions left stranded

Sitting alone the old man stares at the sea the tide carries his thoughts     beyond the horizon.

Beneath the great oak a gentle tumbling stream serenity

he fought in the war dreamt of a better world amidst the carnage he sheds a tear for the dead by the grafitied monument

Marriage a sacred garment held together by love

Her memory gone she repeats the same words an aged catechism

beyond the mountains the sun continues to shine where once they had walked a bitter sweet memory since the sun set on their love

trawling slowly the fishing boat ploughs its course circling in its wake seagulls scrutinize the deck seeking an easier life

An old photograph in monochrome and grain I look back through time wondering why you left.

unlocking my heart you enter into my life define me my life is shaped in the hollow of your hands.

We parted friends a misnomer I realized  for  friends stay in touch           our boats now drift                           to opposite shores.

A silver halo               shines above you                                 as you pass the moon

half moon reminding me without you I am less than whole

                                                              The wind disturbes the river                                                                                           wavelets undulate         ...

Searching the internet for examples of haiku and senryu I came across haibun. A new form to me ,  a new discovery in the seas of Japanese poetic forms. A simple idea. I thought I would try to write one. Trawling the web a new discovery haibun

Striving for perfection I remind myself that even monkeys fall from trees.

Long empty silences                           suffocating                                       in a hospital                                                   waiting room

The frozen ground gives way to life a new green shoot.